


you're not as tough as you seem, are you, hart?

by artsyspikedhair



Series: Girl Meets Sexual Trauma [5]
Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child on Child Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Other, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Hatred, Slut Shaming, Spoilers for Girl Meets House of Terror 3, Statutory Rape, gendered slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 18:56:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyspikedhair/pseuds/artsyspikedhair
Summary: In the world where Maya never met Riley as a child, a lot of worse things happened to her than just her dad leaving.





	

Maya Hart was tough. She was a leather-jacket wearing, heavy makeup, willing to kill those who looked at her wrong, tough girl. Maya Hart, freshman in high school, was completely self-sufficent. Maya Hart was not to be messed with, everyone knew that. 

But Maya Hart was not always tough, and she was not always a freshman. Once, she was a five year old waiting for a father who woud never come home. She didn't always like seeing him, with his red-rimmed eyes and occasional bursts of rage that ended in pain and crying, but he was her father, and if he came home maybe her mom would stop crying and screaming and going out at night to "find herself". Maya didn't think her mom was lost. Maya thought her dad was. 

But her dad never walked back in through the front door, and one night, Katy brought home a woman who would be Maya's "second mommy". Maya didn't want two moms, and the new one seemed mean. She scowled, and stared at Maya in a way that made her feel like curling into a ball. But she made Maya's real mom stop crying, so Maya decided to not tell her mom she didn't like the woman. She just waited for her to leave, like her father had. 

But the woman didn't leave. Instead, by the time Maya was seven, she was living with them. And she was angry, always trying to get Katy "in the mood", which Maya didn't understand except that it meant Maya would be making her own dinner that night. Until one night, when Katy was working late at the diner, and the woman, her name was Grace, made Maya dinner. Maya was excited, because it was her favorite: macaroni with ketchup. After dinner, Grace told her they were going to play a fun game. It involved tickling Maya until she cried out. At first it was fun, almost like Kermit used to do, but then she decided to tickle Maya inside her underwear, which Maya didn't like. She cried out but Grace wouldn't stop. Instead Grace said, "Maya, I want to teach you what your mommy does. You want to be like her when you grow up, don't you?" And Maya did, so she told herself this was okay and she shouldn't be uncomfortable. But it hurt, and Grace's finger was large, and that wasn't the only time Grace would play "tickle games". 

Maya acted tough at school even back then, hitting boys who tried to pull her hair until they cried. But it was a fifth grade boy who taught her about sex, long after Katy and Grace had broken up, and he taught her about lesbian sex too. He had an older brother who watched porn. And Maya tried to keep a stone face when she heard about this, because this was a poor school in a dangerous area, but her mouth paid no attention to her reputation. "I... I think I've done that." she admitted, and then ran back inside. She cried alone in the girls' bathroom. She hadn't meant to have sex. She was dirty now. The boy told her that people who have sex young are dirty. 

She lasted in elementary school by ignoring the other kids, but by fifth grade, she began skipping school. She'd go into Central Park. It was there she made her first real friends: Carla and Renee. They liked destroying stuff, and it wasn't long before she did too. It made her feel whole, like she was before she turned seven. She imagined throwing bricks at Grace's face instead of at shop windows. The three friends have fun together, a being bad for their own reason, reasons Maya never discovered, and Maya got in trouble for skipping in sixth grade but her mother was too busy screwing her new boyfriend and going out to find auditions to really care. Nobody cared about Maya except Renee and Carla. 

But by seventh grade, Carla got a boyfriend. Renee felt replaced, so she and Maya would go out to find boys of their own. Boys take a liking to Maya, who froze when they try to have sex with her. She felt like boys could make her forget her past, forget Grace and how sometimes, she imagined kissing girls. She still felt dirty, but she was supposed to like this, like boys. And sometimes she did. Sometimes she craved sex, like a need, and would go out on her own. 

People talked about her then. They would call her names, like "slut" and "whore", and she'd reply with "yeah I'm a slut, and if you don't shut your face you'll find I'm a slut that can my fist down your ass". She acted tough and violent and sexual to make up for the fact she had nightmares about some of the boys she let touch her. She felt violated, but she chose this. She was Maya Hart, and she was a badass to make for the fact she only had worth because she was pretty and sexual. She began learning to fight, and soon, in eighth grade, she would make sure nobody ever raped her again. 

Maya Hart had gone through some shit by the time she met Riley Matthews. Matthews was innocent and sweet, and Maya got her to do her homework for free in the eighth grade. Maya felt like she loved the girl, but girls were off-limits, girls, like adults and people named Grace and anyone who could see through her, were dangerous. So she was extra hard on her to make up for her feeings. 

But then that one day in freshman year happened, when McBoingBoing told Riley something that made her think Maya had potential. Maya didn't have potential. Maya had a list of nightmares a mile long. She had fear in her eyes that almost nobody saw, but Riley did. And something about Riley made Maya think she could trust her. Maybe that something was right.


End file.
